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Here's What It Means to Enjoy Sex and Pain

A lot of people wonder how others can find pleasure in pain. After all, if sex is supposed to be a pleasurable experience, why would someone want to bring pain into the equation? However, a large number of people do enjoy sex, pain and a pairing of the two. Doing so isn’t weird, uncommon or devious in any way. In fact, it’s relatively common.

We’ve all heard of people who enjoy being spanked and people who enjoy rough sex - perhaps you’re one of them - but it’s understandable that those who don’t enjoy it would wonder how pain in the bedroom can be pleasurable. Most people would say they don’t know and that it simply turns them on, but is there more to it than that? Why do our bodies link pain and sex in such a unique way?

How Are Pain and Pleasure Linked?

Though you may not initially think it, there’s a strong link between pain and pleasure. Pain can have three different sources; chemical, mechanical and thermal. These are three different types of pain perception and they are all triggered when our nervous system responds to potential harm. This activates a range of receptors and processes that tells our brain that pain is being felt. For example, if your hand comes into contact with hot water, you're brain reacts by moving it away. Our bodies go into action, have a boost in energy and immediately try to stop the problem. Though this seems relatively straight forward, it’s a little bit more complex when you take into consideration that our brain sometimes confuses these painful feelings with pleasureable ones.

The way our bodies process pain is very similar to the way our body processes endorphins, serotonin, adrenaline and other feelings of happiness and pleasure. So, by receiving pain, we are often filled with the same chemicals that we do when we receive pleasure. They’re so similar that pain and pleasure can have the same response. When applying this to sexual experiences, it’s possible to see that by applying pain in the right way, pleasurable chemicals in the brain can also be activated. This is how some people can feel sexual pleasure from spanking, BDSM, choking and more.

How Does it Work in Sex?

Though there is a strong link between sexual pain and sexual pleasure, it isn’t merely a case of causing someone harm and hoping it’ll get them off. In fact, there’s a lot more to it than that. Whether we’re looking at BDSM or not, feeling pleasure through pain is all to do with how and where the pain is felt. For example, diving in at the deep end and painfully whipping someone is unlikely to cause pleasure, but building it up slowly from small touches can.

A lot of the time, actual pain is felt during these practices. It isn’t a case of feeling only pleasure and overriding the pain completely, it’s more to do with the pain becoming part of the pleasure. Simply, the endorphins and adrenaline make it bearable. Eventually, it reaches a point where the endorphins take over and the sole focus is on the pleasurable feeling and gratification that’s being experienced. The pain is forgotten about in that moment.

What Does it Mean to Enjoy Sex and Pain?

There’s nothing wrong with enjoying sex and pain, as well as sex and BDSM. In fact, it’s an extremely naturally desire that many people experience. The way our bodies interpret endorphins and adrenaline can differ hugely, depending on the situation that we’re in, and so it’s easy to see how something that may cause one person pain could cause another person pleasure.

Bringing pain into your sex life may not be for you, it isn't for everyone, but if it’s something you’re interested in it may be worth giving it a go. Of course, it’s best to start off small and see what you are able to bare; you may find you can’t bare it at all or you’ll find that you have a very high pain threshold. It’s all about experimenting and finding out what works for you. Though you may enjoy certain aspects of BDSM and pain, you may not enjoy other areas.

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